Press In and Cry Out: The Weariness of Mother's Day

We are weary and find no rest. Joy is gone from our hearts; our dancing has turned to mourning. Restore us to yourself, O Lord. Lamentations 5:5,15,21

Today is Mother's Day, yet I wonder if "Happy" is the way many of us greet such a day. I feel pressed to ensure you know it's okay to lament days like today and the pain associated with them. For some there is only sweetness, which should appropriately be celebrated. For many the day stings of sour. We are weary. Wherever we go what we have lost or do not have seems to be flaunted before us. We cannot let our guard down; there is no rest. Even in the presence of coinciding sweetness, the sting of a sour lemon squeezed over our wounded heart screams for attention. We are mourning. We are left pleading for joy and restoration. 

Some may say expressing our deepest pain or even the hurt our heart feels while others celebrate means we do not value the blessings we have. That simply is not true. There's room: room for both gratitude and grief; love and lament. 

I recently finished reading through Lamentations, and I was struck by this (and other scripture's) example: press in, cry out. In our culture, and in our pain, we are often encouraged or tempted to push away and hold it in. Much to my relief scripture exemplifies and encourages us to PRESS IN AND CRY OUT from the deep pits of darkness and sorrow. 

As I read through Chapter five, I realized just how many more words were used in this book to lay out the complaint versus the plea or the praise. I breathed a sigh of relief. Our pleas and our praises do not have to be long or drawn out. They do not have to match the word count of our complaint. They can be just a few honest, heartfelt words to keep our hearts aligned with truth. When we press in and cry out, we do not weary the Lord. We honor him. We trust him to hold on to those desperate cries. He invites us to do this through the example in his Word. 

The Lord knows the cry of our heart, why not voice it to him? Joy cannot be manufactured or even chosen. Sorrow or strife may obscure it or leave us feeling empty of it. We are not alone in this. I can take my heart full of weary mourning to Jesus. 

Do you feel forgotten by him? Tell him. Jeremiah did in Lamentations. In all the suffering Jeremiah did not ask for restoration of circumstances; he asked for restoration of fellowship with God himself. Isn't this what my soul ultimately longs for? It's exhibited in all of scripture's (and my own) "where are you, God?" questions. 

One day I will be restored to my child, my dancing, but not this side of Heaven. Now? I must wait. The thought of waiting without the fellowship, the presence of my Savior only worsens the wait. I cannot "choose joy", especially if I do not first choose him. 

"Restore me to yourself, O Lord, for then (and only then) can I endure the wait." 

If happy is your Mother's Day I am so glad for you and thank God with you for your sweet blessings. Believers, churches, I implore you to realize why so many hurting women avoid the pews on Mother's Day Sunday and how so many others silently endure it with a smile on their face and tears in their heart. What is the woman struggling with infertility to do when you ask all the mothers to stand? What is the woman who placed her child in a small little casket to do when sweet little children are paraded before the church in ceremonies? What is the mother estranged from her child to do when the talk is only of the joys of motherhood? These celebrations are not wrong, but where does she belong? Because here is not where the mother who battles guilt over an abortion feels safe. What of the one who desperately misses her own mother? Here is where women who carry all sorts of sorrow find themselves weary and on guard. 

Bitterly she weeps at night, tears are upon her cheeks. Look O Lord on my affliction, for the enemy has triumphed. Is any suffering like my suffering that was inflicted on me? I weep and my eyes overflow with tears. No one is near to comfort me, no one to restore my spirit. See O Lord how distressed I am! I am in torment within, and in my heart I am disturbed. My groans are many and my heart is faint. Lamentations 1:2,9,12,16, 20,22 Remember O Lord, what has happened to us, look and see....5:1

 Perhaps these scriptures more aptly depict your heart on Mother's Day. Dear friend, press in and cry out. Rest assured you are seen, heard and loved. Our tears are not wasted but welcomed. 

Press in. 

Cry out.