This past year has been a year of deep and numerous sorrows, but amid this there has been a labor of love intermingled in all the grief. In 2023 I decided to write a set of children's stories for each of my four children. I wanted them to have a story that carried notes of familiar experiences and encouraged loving sibling relationships and strong character. For no particular reason I decided to start on Abigail's story first. I wanted there to be sisterly love, conflict, conflict resolution, tenacity, and teamwork. Abigail adored all her big siblings, did not shy away from conflict, but was quick to move on in love, and was determined to keep up and not let her size keep her from any adventure. Once completed, I wasn't sure what to do with it. I threw around the idea of the kids illustrating it, but in the end set it to the side.
Sadly, there it still sat on February 25, 2024, the day our precious Abigail unexpectedly passed away. I had missed my chance to read it to her. A dear friend who knew about Abigail's story sent a copy to an incredibly talented illustrator whom she also called friend. I was hesitant to get my hopes up. After all, don't all writers think their own stories are worth reading? But what if it wasn't? What if it was only meant to be for my children? I knew how personal it must be for someone to attach their art to someone's writing and expected anyone to be selective.
What a sweet blessing it was to connect with Elizabeth, our illustrator! Not only was she incredibly talented, but I already knew a little of her work because she had written and illustrated a beautiful book on grief which I had given my children. (Here I’m Happy by Elizabeth Rose Hoffman. See my previous blog post on some of our favorite children’s books on grief and heaven.) She wasn't just any illustrator; she had known great sorrow. She sweetly agreed to take on our project.
Here is where I need to tell you how this book was funded. At the time of Abigail's death many donations were made to LifeChoices, the local pregnancy resource center in Abigail's honor. For various reasons there were many who directly and generously sent us monetary gifts. As parents who had just buried a child, we did not know what to do with this. We knew this required significant financial sacrifice on the part of many who gave. We were "fortunate" (I use that term hesitantly) funeral expenses were not a financial strain; thus, we felt conflicted. We knew these funds needed to be used for something of purpose honoring Abigail and the work the Lord would do through her life. After talking to the illustrator, would you believe nearly the exact amount necessary to cover illustrative fees was what we had been given? So, to all of you who gifted us in this way, we want you to know the part you had in bringing Sadie's Stitches and The Tails of Ivy Lane into being. We pray you find us good stewards of the resources you blessed us with.
I didn’t want to wait another moment, so I took the chance to read this little story to my first audience: my three other children. At that time, they did not know who had written it, but their response was heartwarming. They quickly agreed it needed illustrations. Over the past year, they have been able to offer their input, and in a way, I believe this has given them something to do "for Abigail".
Sadie’s Stitches at Barnes and Noble
Over the past year our family has read numerous wonderful children's books pertaining to grief; we are so thankful for these. Yet, we discovered a gap in children's literature regarding sibling loss, especially that of a sibling they had spent years loving, nurturing, and making memories with, along with little in regard to the immediate circumstances surrounding death. Where were the stories about never getting the chance to tell them goodbye, say "I love you" one last time, or give a final hug? Where were the stories about the moment brothers and sisters find out their sibling will not be coming home from the hospital? Where were the stories outlining what happens on the day of a funeral and burial as well as the ensuing days of tumultuous emotions? We did our best as each of the many heart wrenching circumstances unfolded, but I can't help but think perhaps a storybook would have given voice and visuals in preparing their tender hearts for the days to come. Perhaps it would have voiced for them that what they were experiencing was indeed horrific; they did not need to be "strong".
I don't know where or how the Lord will use our Tails of Ivy Lane, but the direction of this series has indeed changed. While Sadie's Stitches (book one of what we hope to be five) holds no components of grief, my hope is to create a series of children's picture books that indeed encourage strong moral character and loving sibling relationships, but also become a resource for grieving brothers and sisters carrying a heavy sorrow upon their small shoulders. I decided to solicit input from Abigail's big brothers and sister. One of them decided their story should still be "before loss", hence book two's rough draft has been completed. Book three's draft introduces death, grief, and sorrow. When I read it to my children my daughter's tearful response was "people will now know how we feel". This accentuated for me the loneliness children also feel in deep grief and how they long for words to express their sorrow. The other two requested their stories be "after loss", expounding upon particular waves of grief they have experienced since losing their sister: sadness and anger. My prayer is that not only will this series give voice to my children's grief but also serve as a tool for the hurting hearts of other parents and siblings.
I suppose I may be getting ahead of myself, as we have just released book one, Sadie's Stitches. The Lord holds the future, and I will rest in that and be so thankful for the present. All of my children have always loved to snuggle with a good book and read aloud together. I have so many cherished memories of holding my sweet Abigail and reading with her. For now, if Sadie's Stitches provides moments for other parents to slow down and savor the feel of a warm child in their arms while sharing a story, it has accomplished great purpose in my eyes. Not long before Abigail went to heaven, I had the strong desire to record us reading one of her favorite stories together: Dr. Seuss' Fox in Socks. I watch that video, and I can still feel her little toes digging beneath my thigh to keep warm and hear her precious laughter as this story always kept her in "stitches". I am forever thankful for the gift of this video as I realize not everyone has this. Mamas, set that phone up and record those moments. You will never regret doing it; I promise you that, because for ever moment I have recorded there are thousands never to be seen again.
I think you know I'd give anything to hold my child instead of a book. Yet, here we are. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you. Thank you for supporting our family and Abigail's story. Please know any profit from the sale of Sadie's Stitches will be used in the publication of the rest of the series.
Lastly, if you have any budding artists of your own, Elizabeth has wonderfully and entertainingly documented the process of illustrating Sadie's Stitches in a series of YouTube videos. I will post the link to those below. My three older children have loved watching these and laughing at Elizabeth’s antics; I've found them writing their own stories and creating storyboards. Elizabeth is a charming, hilarious, and astoundingly talented artist.
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