Have you ever felt a nudge or heard a frequent whisper
from the Lord? Had an impression to move in a direction that just wouldn’t go
away? A dream that never lost its pull?
When I told you in the last post I was slothful in my
obedience regarding the blog I wasn’t joking. The idea, the whisper, the
nudging has been present for years. What took me so long? One word, really: FEAR.
While I didn’t initially recognize it as such, fear has
since been exposed.
Fear of
ineptness.
Fear of
being vulnerable. “What if they think I’m a fraud?”
Fear I
was misunderstanding God’s direction.
Fear of
rejection or failure.
Let’s be real. Fear wears a lot of masks. Each mask seems like
a legitimate excuse. One of mine was busyness. I’m a full time working mom/wife
deciding to home school while maintaining all other areas of life. Where would I
find the time? I let the mindset of “If I can’t do it well (by well, I mean
perfect) then I’m not going to do it at all” take precedence here. How well? By
whose standards? Mine? Everyone else’s? God’s?
Believe me. I see the flaw in my own thinking here.
That's not all though. There's a vulnerability in sharing your writing. What if people see the things I struggle with in "real life", read my blog, and think I'm a fraud? I'm human. The things on my heart for this blog often grow out of my struggles, my muddy messes. At this very moment, fear is contributing to hesitation in publishing this post.
Fear is
a liar, ladies! Well, that and a really lousy navigator. Truth will get me
where I need to go on the map. But fear? Fear doesn’t even care that I have a
map. All fear does is keep me from my destination. Why do I even give fear a
seat in the car? He sure is one shady hitchhiker.
He
was dressed so well.
He was
polite.
He
seemed to be protective of me.
Again, LIAR.
It’s hard admitting fear. I’ve never thought of myself as a fearful person. But when I look back over my life, even
waaaaaay back, I see how fear kept me off the map, so to speak. Fear also has a
funny way of exposing my pride. Pride seems to hide in fear’s hand bag.
I don’t fully understand the Lord’s purpose for me and this
blog. Maybe it is solely to teach me obedience in spite of fear. After all, He
is trustworthy. But I do know that throughout scripture we are told not to
fear. He’s got this. He’s here. He’s got us. He loves me. He loves you. Even
though those plans and purposes he’s prepared for us may be intimidating, He is
with us. He will equip us. He prepared them for us and us for them.
“So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I
will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
Friends, is fear keeping you from fulfilling a calling the
Lord has placed on your heart? If so, let’s surrender that fear at the doorstep
of Jesus and invite a new Navigator in. In fact, I think I ought to just scoot over and let Him drive. After all, He know the way better than I do.
REFLECTION
1. What do you fear?
2. How has fear hindered you from fulfilling God's call on your life?
3. I challenge you to memorize Isaiah 41:10 or another verse regarding fear. Let's speak these words over our hearts, over our fears when they threaten to paralyze us and rob us of blessing.
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